Am I in the right relationship?

“Do not find your soulmate, find your soul mate”   

Don’t we keep wondering whether we are dating the right person? Generally, this thought does not cross our mind when we are happy in our relationship. It would mostly arise when we are unhappy about something and looking to get happiness from the relationship or the partner. Now, if for some reason your partner is not able to take care of your sadness the lingering doubt grows even stronger. What’s the solution and how to be sure of being in the right relationship?

Let’s understand a few things that would lay down a solid foundation for your relationship. We need to first develop a relationship with ourselves. Learn the art of being happy while you are single. We need to get all the happiness from within. Develop the capability to fulfill all your expectations by yourself because trust me you are very well equipped with whatever you need to make yourself happy. Once you have attained such a state where you have no expectations from anyone else then the probability of a relationship being successful would be phenomenally high. Generally, in a relationship, it’s the norm to expect a lot from your partner. Relationship is not so much about expecting than about offering the unconditional love and whatever it takes to strengthen it . You don’t really need a husband or a lover – “you need a friend”. In friendship, expectations are minimal and it’s unconditional.

Do our parents break up from us or do they ever think whether their kids are worthy of their love? In the same way, we should be able to accept our partner as they are. If they are happy with you they will stay and if it is not meant to be, the relationship will end. A big relief is, you do not have to contemplate a lot about keeping or letting go of your partner. In this state of unconditional love, nobody can break your heart or upset you for long because you have no expectations and in fact you are deriving all your happiness from within. All you got to do is love your partner without any fear and attachment. Yes, you read it right.. without any attachment. Attachment makes you possessive about your partner. You keep thinking about your partner and start reading too much into all of their actions, leaving you very sensitive and skeptical about the future of your relationship. As you might notice and a matter of fact, attachment is inversely proportional to love.

A question might arise – if all we have to do is give unconditional love and expect nothing, anybody could be your partner?

Well, there is always some attraction with which it starts. There is a silent communication, exchange of vibes and a spark that ignites the chain of thoughts leading to attraction. During initial stages, some people are extremely cautious and careful about getting attached and hurt. Somebody who is already in touch with his/her soul will not be fearful as they can always fall back on themselves to get happy. When you are in a happy and calm state of mind, choosing a partner becomes easier as you would know whether the potential partner would align himself/herself to your happiness. Attraction will happen not out of “need”, rather out of “want”. When you need someone you start expecting all that has been lacking in your life. When the expectations are not fulfilled, you may get frustrated and in many cases choose to break up. When all your “needs” are taken care of by yourself and you just “want” the person, you would be able to give unconditional love and accept them with their flaws – exactly what you need for a stable relationship.

Wish you all happy and loving relationships!

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